Posted by Mindy Tulsi-Ingram on 15th Mar 2024
Successful Conversations at Work
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place” George Bernard Shaw
Successful workplaces rely on successful communication. How we communicate as leaders matters, as it has a critical impact on our employees and the level of trust and teamwork in the organization.
Two examples of poor communication were recently communicated to me.
- One employee shared how she was treated. Her boss said “for the amount I pay you I expect …… “. The undercurrent of negativity did not create a positive reaction.
- Another described that she heard gossip and hushed conversations about changes within the office that affected her role. Because it wasn’t shared directly with her, it led to her looking for another position elsewhere.
By not being open, and addressing any issues directly, the trust is not present and communication is lacking. As you may have guessed, they both set up interviews to switch jobs.
How we communicate is a two-way street, and it is based on clarity and openness, as well as how the message is delivered.
We can all picture our bosses holding a meeting and imparting information to us, while we are listening intently and/or taking notes, (or planning what we are having for dinner?). Their style of speech and their ability to speak persuasively are keys to conveying their message. The better the communicator, the better their success in delivering the message.
However, communication is made up of both speaking and listening, with the common goal of reaching an understanding of the topic or the direction the company is going.
Communication involves sharing of information and receiving input and feedback. Employees must feel that they are able to speak up, express their opinions, and even disagree, if necessary, without the threat of retaliation. They must feel safe, that they are understood, and an integral part of the team.
On the other hand, how we relay information as leaders matters.
Companies have large training budgets to spend on speaking and presentation skills, but very few invest in teaching or practicing listening skills – critical for your audience, and the basis of good conversation.
Different communication styles result in some people having stronger connections with others, resulting in better conversations.
In the workplace it is important to bring people together with a common bond. We see teambuilding exercises that encourage the sharing of personal information and opinions in a collegial environment. The more open and non-threatening the conversations, the more aligned we become with others as we share similar experiences.
The skill of ‘active listening’ creates a sense of trust and a connection, as the speaker feels listened to and understood when the listener rephrases and repeats their understanding of what they heard. It is critical in discussions between people with opposing views, as by feeling that you are truly being listened to and it breaks down the barrier of ‘me and you’ or ‘right and wrong’.
If your conversation has reached an impasse, and agreement is impossible, remember the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald:
“To be kind is more important than to be right.”
Toxic Leadership
Employees leave organizations for many reasons - it could be money, surroundings, mis-alignment with their goals, or it could be due to their work environment.
A recent article in Forbes Magazine, stated that “Employees don’t leave organizations; they leave toxic workplaces”.They are more likely to stay with a company if they feel that they are valued and being treated fairly. If not, they become disengaged and stop contributing to the company’s goals, often resulting in higher turnover.
One of the reasons could be the leaders. Often, leadership traits that are thought to be effective, and even encouraged, can be detrimental. A trait that was once highly-valued as part of a lower-level team, can become toxic as the employee moves to a leadership position.
Caution
Caution signifies rational and thoughtful decision-making, but too much caution in a leader can be limiting. Their fear of making mistakes can slow down or sideline projects that are beneficial to the company.
By focusing on the worst case scenario they tend to avoid new things, are apprehensive and don’t make decisions, resulting in a feeling of negativity and uncertainty within their team.
Their need to seek approval and their inability to make a decision can result in disgruntled employees.
Imagination
Imaginative people are seen to be highly creative, and are successful as part of the team as they often introduce new ideas and procedures to management.
However, as leaders they can become bored with the daily routine and become counterproductive to the team. They can be disorganized, easily distracted and overcomplicate problems.
Employees often view their leader as unfocused and impractical, undermining their authority and creating a chaotic work environment. If their productivity is hindered, they begin to look for more fulfilling roles.
Boldness
Bold leaders can be inspiring and confident, providing a role model for their employees, but they may also want to be seen as infallible, they take steps to avoid losing face, and often shift blame onto others.
With the focus on their achievements (real or perceived) and highlighting them to their superiors, they often neglect to acknowledge the hard work of their employees who often put them there.
They often take credit for others’ work, creating resentment and mistrust within the teams. Employees become demoralized, resentful and unmotivated to succeed if they don’t receive appropriate recognition and respect.
What to Do
By focussing on the performance and management style of their leaders, organizations can ensure that these behaviours are not negatively affecting their business success or their work environment.
Holding regular “stay” interviews with employees in a safe environment provides an opportunity for these traits to be uncovered and addressed early, by making the employees feel that they are heard and valued. By doing this, there may be no need for an “exit” interview.
By carefully monitoring reviews on sites such as Glassdoor, management may gain valuable information and identify if there is a problem.
If employees from a particular department or group are leaving in large numbers, it may be a sign that the leadership is lacking or displaying some of these traits, and management must take appropriate action. This could be through creating development programs, performing personality assessments to identify future leaders and coach existing leaders, and encouraging group feedback sessions and participation in a safe environment where employees can be heard.